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2 Cats – Keep Them Inside Plz!

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Better to be inside and fat than outside and flat.

Sadly, this morning as I was driving to work there were 2 dead cats that had been hit by cars in the road. Well one was on the side of the road and one was in the road.

I can’t help but wonder if there is a child pout there who’s kitty has gone missing and won’t ever be coming back.
I also can’t help but think of the fab four felines we have living in our house. The hubbs and I would be devestated if anything were to happen to one of them. I can’t imagine.

I can possible understanding having outdoor cats when you live in a rural area or have a barn or lots of acreage. But in the city? You’re putting a death wish on your kitty!

Please…keep your beloveds inside! Dogs and cats alike!

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Husband Admitted = Worst Wife EVER???

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Yeah, it’s 3:00am EST. and yeah, I just got home from the ER.

This is going to be a bitch-about-my-husband type blog that I just need to get out so I will feel better about it all. So…if you’re sensitive to these types of things, please don’t read on. If not…here goes.

Today was my nephew’s 11th birthday and I’m sitting at dinner and get a phone call from the hubbs. He tells me he passed out, hit his head and was on the bottom of the shower when he came to. He goes on to tell me that he was not dizzy (rules out vertigo) and that he just put his hands up over his head, passed out and came to on his ass. I was like…wtf???

I tell him ok, I’ll check back with you…called a friend who also has APS to have her call him and see how he’s “really” doing…and then proceeded to eat. Then I get a text that says “I am scared”. Ok…so he passed out, hit his head, and is scared. I decide to cut the night short and go home after my nephew opens his gifts.

When I get home, he has already printed (and updated, mind you) his illness/surgery/medication list…so basically, he KNOWS he’s going to the ER. I walk in…oooh and the jackass didn’t feed the animals…but that is another blog…and tell him we’re going and if he wants to eat before we do then here’s his dinner (I brought him dinner home)

So he eats dinner, changes and we’re off.

We pulled into the ER and the more I think about it I’m like…it’s stupid we go in, it happened too many hours ago, he feels fine and so we kind of turn around…but keep driving in this big circle around the hospital campus…we were talking and basically we talked ourselves back into going in because there could really be something wrong…he passed out, wasn’t dizzy and his his head while on blood thinners…none of these are good. So better to be safe than sorry, right.

Well when 2 ambulances passed us going in and I had to park in the spill over ER lot…AND there was a helicopter landing at the hospital as I walked in…and omg for the first time EVER there was a LINE at the desk…I knew we were in for a long night.

We were sent straight back to triage and got a nurse who knew us, so she kind of pushed us through a bit. He had an EKG done and then we went in to see a doctor. We spoke to the doctor and she ordered a chest x-ray, CT scan of his head and blood work and he needed to be hooked up to a heart monitor…and then the doctor comes back and says that everything looks ok, but they don’t know what is going on and want to admit him overnight for observation and do a chest CT with contrast.

There’s where I become the worst wife in the world. Before we left Todd’s words to me were, “I do not want to be admitted”. But with everything he has going on, it’s ALWAYS a possibility.

So then I’m basically being BLAMED for him being admitted. Like I fucking gave him APS and all of his other issues…no todd, blame your genes or your parents’ genes hun, not me. I just married you. I didn’t birth you.

He all but said, “It’s your fault”…he might as well said that. He was so mad and his vitals and heart monitor were going nuts. Nice.

I know he’s pissed and doesn’t want to be there overnight and if I didn’t have to get home to give Topaz his meds, I’d still be up there, but if the doctors think he needs to stay for observation, then why question that? Don’t THEY know better than us…well, in theory anyways.

So, there in the ER room I was made to feel like I’m the worst wife in the world. How dare I bring my husband in…Like I wanted him to be admitted and PLANNED it.

Hell, if I could do that, wouldn’t I have planned for a husband who wasn’t sick…

Ugh…I am married to the most stubbornest man alive!!!!

And tomorrow I have to (hopefully, God willing) pick this crab up from the hospital and go through the mess again.

Someone hold me.

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We’re Too Young For This!!!

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I had to go to the pharmacy to get my husband and my scripts. He had 6 for me to pick up, plus his Lovenox shots and I had my two. It was 66.00. Good Lord! I know we’re lucky too, because we have fairly low copays for our scripts…but still. We’re in our early to mid 30’s and we’re spending over 60 dollars on prescriptions?

This is not counting the pain meds my husband is on, or the 1500mg of calcium he takes everyday or the aspirin he takes or even the iron and multivitamin.

There are plenty of people with his disease who have to take more medications than he does, so we are thankful that he’s only on what he’s on and I know it’s what’s keeping him alive and relatively clot-free, but still I didn’t think that I’d be sorting out my husband’s medications at this age.

He keeps forgetting to take his morning shot too…sometimes he forgets both the morning and night ones. Which then leaves him at risk for a clot…which usually shows up in the form of a TIA or mini stroke.

This disease is no joke. People don’t understand and they don’t get that he looks perfectly fine…maybe a little tired, but he’s really sick and it’s life threatening. And it’s also not going away, won’t get better and we don’t know if it’s hereditary.

I’m running out of things to say when people ask why we haven’t or when we’re going to have kids. I want kids. I really do, but I’m so afraid of passing this mess on to a child. What this disease does to babies and little kids is just horrible. I don’t want to risk that.

When I tell people that they look at me like I just landed from Mars. What part of babies having strokes scares the shit out of me don’t people understand? I can only handle one sick person in my life and my husband’s mind and memory are so bad that I don’t think I could even trust him to care for a child alone.

I haven’t put the idea out of my head completely. But right this moment, this is where we stand on the issue. I wish people understood my fears and the risks and would just mind their own business about it. We may change our minds later down the line. We still have some time. Who knows what the future holds.

So today I spent 66.00 at CVS and then spent 45 minutes getting the pills and shots ready for the week. Hopefully the new system will help him remember his shots. If nothing else, I will keep track of them myself and know exactly how many he’s doing in a week.

And maybe, just maybe, now that he’s back on all of his meds…he’ll start feeling a little better.

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